Many people are on at least one social media platform every day. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and more have made it easy to connect with people we otherwise wouldn’t meet — and reconnect with people we haven’t seen since high school or college when we were younger, thinner and more carefree. All of these connections can cause problems in marriages.
One Colorado licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) says that “social media is used as a tool to cheat.” She adds that based on the clients she sees in her practice, “things have accelerated in the last five years or so.” One Colorado Springs attorney says that he’s also seen an increase in social media infidelity.
The LMFT has some advice for reducing the chances that social media will interfere with your marriage.
- Lessen the time you spend on their phone in general. Decide on times when you and your spouse will both turn off your phones — such as during meals or once you go to bed.
- Don’t follow or “friend” any former girlfriends or boyfriends. If you already have, remove them from your feed.
- Don’t have any social media accounts your spouse doesn’t know about. You may even want to share your passwords to get in to your accounts and your devices. If you both have complete transparency, neither person will have reason to be suspicious.
If you’re already in the process of divorce, taking care on social media is still important. Anything that you put out there can be used against you in child custody, property division and spousal support negotiations.
Your attorney may advise you to get off of social media entirely for a time. They’ve likely seen all the ways in which social media can harm a person’s case. It’s wise to follow whatever advice they give you.