During a divorce, one of the most complex matters you and your ex have to sort through is visitation and parenting time. Your parenting time depends on the child’s best interests. Most custody arrangements should protect the relationship between both parents and the child.
When it comes to parenting time, how you and your ex speak of each other can impact the court’s decision, too much harmful speech can resemble parental alienation.
Remember your kids share both sets of DNA
You and your ex made your children; because of this, children build their identities on both parents. If you speak angrily of the other parent, your children start to internalize your feelings. Kids may feel they have to reject one parent to stay in the good graces of the other. When kids choose between parents, it can cause harm to all parties. Your kids suffer and the alienated parent also suffers.
Be careful of how you communicate
Unless your kids face neglect or abuse because of an ex, remember that any anger you have does not do the children any good. Do not insult the other parent in front of your kids. You can vent to family and friends but never vent in front of your children. Your kids do not need to feel like they have a stake in your arguments. Likewise, be careful of non-verbal cues. For instance, rolling your eyes or sighing with annoyance can trigger a response in your kids.
You should never make your kids feel like they cannot talk about their other parents. If a court suspects parental alienation, it can affect your ability to retain custody.
