Money can be a huge source of stress in a relationship – but it’s not just a lack of money and financial strain that causes the problems.
Even affluent couples can run into marital issues over money. Here are some of the ways it can happen:
Financial infidelity
Financial infidelity occurs when one spouse hides financial information from the other. They may make significant purchases without consulting their partner, maintain secret accounts, stockpile investments and assets in a hidden trust or pile up gambling debts that they don’t reveal. When the infidelity is revealed, that may permanently kill the trust a couple once shared.
Differing goals
Financial compatibility is essential for a strong marriage, so conflicting attitudes towards saving, spending and investing can cause a great deal of tension. One spouse may prioritize long-term financial security, while the other is a “live in the moment” kind of person who gets a lot of gratification out of spending.
Income disparities
When there are power imbalances in a relationship, that can breed serious resentment. If the higher-earning spouse feels like they’re entitled to make all the financial decisions by virtue of their income, the lower-earning spouse may feel marginalized or infantilized. This can undermine any sense of cooperation within the relationship and destroy the dependent spouse’s sense of personal security.
Here’s the reality: Money can buy a lot of things, but happiness isn’t one of them. Financial mismanagement or financial mismatches can deeply erode a marriage. Seeking couples therapy and financial counseling can sometimes help couples overcome their money issues, but it sometimes becomes necessary to look into divorce options.
