When parents with minor children divorce or separate, they usually share custody. They have to find ways to share parental rights and responsibilities. They usually each have a certain amount of parenting time, as well as shared legal authority over the children.
Parents may find themselves disagreeing about key decisions about raising their children. Establishing certain rules or standards in advance can decrease the likelihood of co-parenting conflict. What types of rules do parents need to agree on to effectively co-parent?
1. Discipline and housework standards
Consistency is critical for helping children perform to the best of their capabilities. When rules are the same at both houses, children know what the adults in their lives expect from them. Ensuring that parents use roughly the same disciplinary standards and require the same types of housework from their children can reduce confusion and opportunities for conflict.
2. Rules for socialization
As children develop friendships at school, they may want to have friends visit or go to sleepovers hosted by their friends. They may want to go to parties or participate in extracurricular activities. Parents may need to have a series of age-appropriate rules that apply at different points throughout their children’s development that they can both adhere to consistently for the sake of fairness.
3. Technology limitations
Technology is a large part of how young adults socialize. Parents may need to agree on what types of devices their children can use, how much screen time is appropriate and even what websites or video games they can enjoy.
When parents work together to establish consistent rules, they make it easier for their children to adjust to shared custody and reduce opportunities for conflict. Expanding a parenting plan to address many practical issues beyond the division of parenting time can facilitate healthier arrangements for the whole family.