Divorce, especially when you share children, heightens the stakes of the action. Ensuring they do not suffer emotional trauma during and after the split may prove difficult.
In some high-stakes divorces, one parent may use the children to inflict pain and damage on the other during and after. While you may not believe this is the intent of your former spouse, you may want to keep a watchful eye out just in case. Parental alienation is a damaging and traumatic event for you and your children to endure.
What is parental alienation?
When one parent wants to purposely and intentionally sabotage the other parent’s relationship with the children, the alienator begins a psychological campaign. A significant element in parental alienation is the conveyance of negative information about the other parent aimed at creating a rift. This information may come in the form of direct statements, or it may filter down indirectly. For instance, a parent may talk freely on the phone and provide damaging insight about the other parent. This campaign intends to make the children feel bad for one parent while beginning to turn on the other.
What are common signs?
The first sign that your ex is saying negative things about you is that your children may begin to change while in your presence. A child who undergoes a drastic temperament change after divorce may have fallen under the influence of an alienator. Another sign is a child requesting to skip scheduled time with you. Kids who fall under the control of an alienator feel spending time with the other parent is an act of betrayal.
You do not have to suffer without recourse from the court. Your children deserve to know that you and your ex love them.